Things you’ll encounter in Texas

Everyone has heard the phrase “Everything’s bigger in Texas,” and that my friends is including the egos. Texans are the proudest residents in the entire world, and they will not hesitate to show it. This is coming from a girl who has lived here her entire life, Texas is one unique state and there’s not another like it. If you are planning a visit, you might want to prepare yourself for the following…

1. Cowboys fans: Ah yes.. the proud supporters of “America’s” team. Unfortunately these fans can not be contained to the Dallas area. While visiting Texas, you’re destined to encounter many of them, no matter what area you venture to. Do not start any sort of football argument with these guys. No matter how many horrible seasons they’ve had, or how many interceptions Romo has thrown, they will argue to the death that they are the best team in the NFL.
2. Hatred for “Yankees”: No I am not referencing the baseball team. Texans use the term “Yankees” to describe anyone that essentially is not from Texas. Say you’re from Iowa and you are wearing dress shoes to a Texas bar…Yankee. You’re from DC and you’re a Democrat (GOD FORBID)…Yankee. And the worst of worst, those Yankees from New York City. The majority of Texans hate New York. I have been twice and absolutely love it, but I am not the majority. When I told my father I wanted to move there after college he looked like he was going to shit a brick. “New Yorkers are rude MFer’s” – my dad (and just about every other Texan) “Dad you have never even been there” -Me. Just a warning for those of you who say “you guys” be prepared to hear a flux of Texan shit
3. Weather: I would give you packing advice, but that is virtually impossible. You have probably heard about the bipolar Texas weather…it’s no joke. One day you’ll be basking in the sunshine out by the pool in perfect 95 degree weather. The next day you’ll be whipping out your Uggs and fleece jacket. It literally is ridiculous. So pack a variety of items, and bring a little extra cash incase you need to go shopping (who knows you might need to go buy a swim suit in the middle of December).
4. Cowboy boots: The most universal shoe in the world in the mind of a Texan. Going out to dinner, strap your boots on. Going to a football game, pull on some boots. Going to a wedding, boots. Funeral, boots. This is no joke. Cowboy boots are deemed appropriate for every occasion in the book and while traveling through Texas you will see many of them (in many colors and varieties).
5. Tex-mex: One of my favorite things about Texas. The mexican food here is to die for. Literally. If you like mexican food you will love Texas. From chain restaurants to hole-in-the-walls you can pull in just about anywhere and eat some pure, unhealthy deliciousness. Tacos, queso, fajitas, enchiladas..take your pick. They are delightfully cheesy, greasy and wonderful.
6. Animals: Cows, deer, raccoons, armadillo, snakes, horses, you name it. Animals are all over the place. In your drive way, under your car, side of the highway, in front of Walmart…literally, everywhere. Be prepared.
7. Longhorns or Aggies: No matter where you go in Texas you are going to meet Longhorn and Aggie fans. In case you’re unaware, the two do not get along. I can safely say that a good 80% of the people you meet that are die hard Longhorn or Aggie fans did not attend either college. They will yell “hook em'” or “gig em'” just yell something back like “hell yea” and precede with your day.
8. Texas women: I guess I have a somewhat biased opinion on the subject, but basically we are badasses. Texas women will drink you under a table, dance the entire night away, drive a truck, grill some steaks, shoot a gun, bait a hook, scream their head off at the television during a football game and still look classy as hell. Like I said… I am slightly biased on the matter, but if you meet a Texas woman I don’t think you’ll have many complaints.

This list could easily be continued, but I am just hitting you with the basics. Hope you find yourself better prepared for all the chaos Texas has to offer. Now keep calm & carry on y’all.

-AMH